


The Blue Paladin

by whimsicalMedley



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Insecurity, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 16:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11741226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalMedley/pseuds/whimsicalMedley
Summary: Blue reflects on her paladins.





	The Blue Paladin

**Author's Note:**

> s3 FUCKED ME UP so have this thing that made me cry lol
> 
> also this is canon bc i too would react this way to hurting Lance McClain

_“The Blue Lion—”_

_“Hold up, let me guess. Takes the most handsome/best pilot of the bunch?”_

* * *

Blue remembers being made. She remembers watching her siblings come into being from the very same meteor, remembers the moment that her consciousness came into being, and most importantly, remembers meeting her paladin. His name was Blaytz, and he was from Nalquod.

_“Hey there gorgeous,” a voice broke the silence, and Blue focused on a man walking towards her. They were alone._

_“I’m not entirely sure how this is supposed to work, but…I was told you can hear me?”_

_Silence._

_“Hopefully Alfor isn’t pulling my leg with this,” she thought she heard the man mutter, but then he turned to her, “name’s Blaytz, sweetheart. I’m from Nalquod, an aquatic planet. Hopefully that helps.”_

_Blaytz chuckled awkwardly, and then looked around in suspicion._

_“Listen. Alfor said that everyone else got their ships to talk to them. I really need you to help me out here, because…”_

‘Here it comes,’ _Blue thought,_ ‘the big reason I should be kind.’

_“Because well, those idiots need someone to look out for them.”_

_Blue paused._

_“They’ll drive themselves into the ground without someone to remind them to take care of themselves. Alfor gets way too heated sometimes. Zarkon lets his ambition get away with him. Gyrgan, bless him, he’s too kind to get everyone to settle down. And Trigel? She’s a genius, but she’d rather starve than stop a project. I need to make sure they’re alright, y’know? And I can’t do that if I can’t pilot you. So…what do ya say, darlin’?”_

_Blue dropped her particle barrier without hesitation._

_Black had the leader. Red had the hotheaded one. Green had the quick witted one. Yellow had the sweet one._

_Blue had the loyal one._

As the years went on, Blue and Blaytz became inseparable. He was an amazing person. An amazing pilot. An amazing paladin. Blue didn’t know how she was blessed with the best paladin out of the bunch, but she had managed it.

Then Blaytz and the other paladins were gone, and she was sent to Earth.

Blue had time to mourn. She had plenty of time to mourn. Her paladin was gone, and the hole she felt in her heart nearly crushed her. Blaytz had confided all of his hopes, his fears, and his dreams in her. All of that potential for even more greatness, love, and happiness…gone. And at the hands of another paladin.

Not only was Blue without a paladin, she was without her siblings. They had all been sent to the farthest corners of the universe. She was on a planet called “Earth” which was full of primitive people, people who could never begin to comprehend a being such as herself.

No, it would be a long time before Voltron would be coming back.

* * *

When Lance arrived to her cave, Blue knew right away.

_My paladin…_

It wasn’t Blaytz. He was long gone. But here, standing before her, was another. Another that shared his flame, who would put his teammates above himself. Who would nurture and protect, just as Blue did.

He knocked.

Her barrier went down.

* * *

“Hey baby,” Lance’s voice startled Blue slightly as the hangar door opened, and he gave her a tired smile, “how’re you doin’ today?”

_Hello, my dear paladin. Are you feeling okay? Your vitals are low._

Lance’s smile faltered, and he sighed, sitting down a few feet in front of Blue.

“I’m just tired, I guess. Didn’t get to sleep last night.” He sighed, and Blue knew that he felt her worried indignation flare up through their bond.

“It was a long night, that’s all! Keith has been extra broody since Shiro disappeared,” Blue silently thanked the stars that it wasn’t her paladin that went missing, because she knew how much it had pained Black to let Shiro go, “so I sparred with him for a bit, and the kid hits a little hard, y’know?”

_Did you tell him that he hurt yo—_

“No! And I won’t be. He didn’t mean to, Blue, and I don’t want him to feel guilty. So no blabbing to Red either, got me?” Lance stuck his finger towards Blue’s face, and she tried to not let her amusement show through the bond. He really was something.

“But anyway, I had to help Hunk calm down from a panic attack again, and then I had to make Pidge actually get some sleep for once, and then Coran needed help cleaning, and finally, the mice got me up to help them get Allura back to bed because she was sleep walking. I didn’t get to sleep.”

Blue could feel her paladin’s weariness. He was tired physically, but also emotionally.

_…are you still having the thoughts of hurting yourself, little cub?_

Blue could hear the hesitance in her own voice, and winced a bit.

“…yeah,” Lance sighed, but when he felt her concern flare up, he continued, “but it’s alright Blue! I’m used to it, haha! I don’t have my antidepressants or my adderall up here, I just need to learn to toughen up. I can’t let this get in the way of Voltron, and I promise I won’t! I—”

_I don’t care about Voltron as much as I care about you, Lance. I am a part of you, yes, but you are a part of me as well. I worry for you._

Blue watched as her paladin’s eyes filled with tears, and a watery laugh escaped him.

“Thanks girl. You always know what to do to help me out. Just promise me one thing, okay?”

_Hm?_

“Don’t leave me. Please.”

_Never._

* * *

 When Lance accepted Keith as the new Black Paladin, Blue knew. She could feel their bond sever. And if her siblings heard her roar of anguish, they didn’t say anything.

* * *

“Come on, Old Blue. It’s me, Lancey Lance! Open up!”

She could remember him telling her that ridiculous nickname. The story always made her smile.

“Wait, do you hate me now?”

_I could never._

“Maybe Pidge was right. I am just a goofball…”

_You’re so much more than what you think you are, Lance. I wish there was another way._

He couldn’t hear her.

“Not only am I not meant to be the leader, I guess…I guess now I’m not even meant to be a paladin.”

The sight of her paladin racing away from her would haunt Blue for a long time.

* * *

 The door slid open and Blue watched as Lance walked in. It was late. He should be sleeping.

She didn’t like the look in his eye.

“You said I was special.”

Blue almost didn’t hear him.

“You said that I was the only one you wanted. You promised me that you’d never leave me, Blue. You _promised!”_

When Lance looked up at her, she saw the tears trailing down his cheeks and could finally place the look in his eyes: betrayal.

“I thought that I was important. I thought that I was a part of you! You said I was! Why—Why did you leave me then? Why did you decide I wasn’t good enough, just like _everyone_ does? What did I—” his voice cracked, and Lance curled in on himself.

“What did I do wrong?”

_Nothing. You did nothing wrong, Lance. If I could, I would take you back in a heartbeat. I miss you terribly already. Please, please don’t cry._

A humorless laugh echoed around the room, and Blue’s stomach sank. Lance walked towards the barrier, and she wanted nothing more than to lower it. To let him in and smother him in her love and make sure he never thought another negative thing about himself again.

“I guess you were just trying to make me feel better.”

_No, Lance I would never—_

“I really am just a seventh wheel.”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: future-mr-blue-lion


End file.
